Old Wives’ Tales are urban legends, throughout the world. And, regardless of how much truth they hold or how much superstition they suggest, they are fun to read nonetheless.
In this article I’m looking at “tales” for men on “The Joys of Shaving”.
A man who lives to be 80 will spend some 2,965 hours of his life, about 4 months, shaving.
By the time he has been at it for a couple of years, he barely has to think about what he’s doing. He could shave in his sleep and, some mornings, he probably does.
So what goes through a man’s mind as he shears off the night’s production of whiskers?
The Professor – Except for touch ups, most of his shaving is done in the shower, where his thoughts are about science and the world, thinking about the day’s laboratory work and generally get himself “going”.
The Conflicted Pessimist – Shaves only when absolutely necessary and generally hates it. He tends to use the time shaving into fooling himself into thinking he is about to have a spectacular day.
The Fastidious Dreamer – Sometimes shaves twice a day. Uses an electric razor for 10 minutes. If he really wants to be clean shaven, he wil get the shaving cream and razor out and do it all again.
The Ecumenical Buddhist –Reciting short sutra and taking a momentary look heavenward, he asks for blessings from both Siva and Allah. While shaving he holds his breath with one strong powerful exhalation at the end of the process. While washing the razor, thanks are given to the fact that he already looks younger than he did when he awoke.
The Diplomat – The most important part of the day. Often the wording of a poisonous memo to some evil colleague will become clear through the haze of the moist bathroom air.
The Bleeder – He sometimes looks into the mirror and sees evidence of aging (he really is not 25 any more and can’t understand how he got to 40). Believes that in stimulating his white blood cell production because he continues to cut himself, he will boost his immune system function. On a good day it is a meditative interlude without excessive blood loss .
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